Jokes:
All the jokes are taken from Fun zone of MiYARU mobile forum.
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The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"
Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. Then replied, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal."
The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.
Lilly put up her hand. "Yes, Lilly?" asked the teacher.
"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."
"Very good. Thanks, Lilly," said the male teacher.
He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:
First, you have NOT done your HOMEWORK.
Second, you have a DIRTY mind.
And thirdly, I fear, one day in future, you are going to be sadly disappointed!"
***
A mother and daughter were riding in a cab though New York City. Daughter noticed some scantily clad women loitering on a street "Mommy," the little girl asked, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to come home from work." the mother answered.
"C'mon lady, they're hookers!" retorted the cab driver.
After a stunned silence, the daughter asked, "Mommy, do hookers have children?"
"Of course," the mother replied, "where do you think cabbies come from?"
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A guy was duck hunting in Alabama when the park ranger walks up,
"Afternoon sir", the ranger says, "You got an Alabama duck hunting license"?
"Yes I do", the redneck replies.
The ranger picks up one of the ducks and sticks a finger up it's bum and takes a lick of his finger then says, "Sorry but this ducks from Georgia, you got a Georgia license?"
"Yes I do, sir", the redneck says,
So the ranger picks up another duck with the same results says, "well, this duck is from Mississippi. You got a license from Mississippi?"
"Yes I do sir" the good ole boys says.
"Well dang, son. Where you from?" the ranger says.
The old boy stands up turns around, drops his drawers and says:
"Well you tell me, buddy!"
***
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part." He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.
The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
"I touched a man's private parts." He told her to wash her hands in holy water.
Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.
The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to sit in it."
***
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
Woman: "Why?"
Man: "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
***
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
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TWO ELDERLY GENTS ARE TAKING A LEAK in a public toilet when one notices the
other gent is pissing with two streams. "what the hell is that?" he asks.
"War wound," replies the other. "I took a revolver bullet in the penis
in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes."
"Me too," says the first -showing he's pissing with three streams. "War wound,
Germany, it was a high -powered rifle round in the penis - left me with three
holes in my manhood,"
At this point, a young lad stands between them - and the veterans are amazed to see
12 streams of amber hitting the porcelain.
"My God," exclaims the second veteran, "did you get that from a machine gun?"
"No mate," says the youngster, incredulously, "My zips stuck."
***
A girl see tatoo mark NIKE on the shoulder of her boyfriend, REEBOK on the leg, AIDS on penis, she screamed. He said : "relax darling, when erect its ADIDAS".
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Height of poverty :- A woman stitching condom for her husband.
Height of ambition :- An ant climbing on an elephant and trying 2 rape her.
Height of laziness :- A naked man lying upon a naked woman waiting for the earthquake to do the rest.