A little gal walks into her parents bathroom and notices for the first time her father's nakedness. Immediately she is curious, he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, what are those round things hanging there, daddy? He replies proudly, 'those are god's apples of life. without them, we wouldn't be here'. She seeks for mom out and tells what daddy has said, to which mommy asks, "did he say anything about the dead branch they're hangin from?"
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, & generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
Guess what, I was heading for my car where I kept my condoms.
Moral: Always keep your condoms in your car.
In a bar 1 guy says to another. "I slept with ur mom last night"
the whole bar was waiting 4 the other guy's response. He laughs and says, "let go home dad, ur drunken"
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